


Dave: Make John Eat Cookie

by Stormendale



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Boys Kissing, Food Metaphors, John Egbert is Not a Homosexual, M/M, The Pocky Game, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormendale/pseuds/Stormendale
Summary: John and Dave play the pocky game, but with a cookie.





	Dave: Make John Eat Cookie

John stood in his kitchen, a large bowl of grapes in front of him. He was really curious as to how many he could fit in his mouth, after having had a conversation with Rose about it.

He got twenty-three in his mouth before he was actually in pain from how stretched out his mouth was. As John tried fitting just one more into his mouth, Dave walked by.

“Zjdave, hmnahbgrapesh. Hmn.” John said in Dave’s direction.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“Shtiffin grapesh in mah mouf.”

“Don’t try to talk. That’s so gross,” Dave said. John grabbed a cup from the counter and spit all the grapes into it. He was surprised he could fit that many. 

“I have an idea,” Dave exclaimed with a grin.

“Oh, no! Your ideas are always bad, leave me out of this, please.”

“You’re gonna do that again, but with cookies.”

“No! I refuse. You’re going to ruin cookies for me forever.” There was a box of Betty Crocker brand chocolate chip cookies sitting on the counter. Dave grabbed a cookie, and before John could make a run for it, Dave pressed him against the counter with his body. He held the cookie in front of John’s mouth, and John pressed his lips together stubbornly. “Dave, I don’t want the friggin’ cookie.”

“Just one, then.” When John still didn’t open his mouth, Dave put part of the cookie in his mouth and held it out to John, like Pocky. John took the cookie, but didn’t bite into it. 

“I love how you’ll only take it when it’s in my mouth,” Dave said with a cocky smirk.

John just sat there with the cookie in his mouth. “Pleavth gut oth me Davth.”

“No. Not until you eat it.” It was a power struggle at this point. Dave didn’t even care if John ate the damn thing. John whined.

“Dude.” Dave gave him a straight face. “Nic Cage would eat that. You’re letting him down.”

John whined some more, but reluctantly bit off part of the cookie. He chewed it, his face scrunching up in displeasure from having been defeated. “Okay, now just eat the rest. I promise I’ll only make you eat one. Promise.”

John shook his head stubbornly. There was only half of the cookie left, and Dave contemplated how to convince him to eat it. “Look, I’ll eat half of what’s left if you do.” He put part in his mouth and held it out to Dave, their faces only inches apart.

“If I do, will you get off me?” John asked. Dave took the cookie out of his mouth for a second to talk.

“No promises. But hey, just imagine it’s pocky. Remember when we played the Pocky game, John? It was fun, wasn’t it?”

“I thought we only played that for ironic purposes.”

“It was ironic that you fell for the irony excuse. I just wanted to play Pocky. The entire game was just a ploy for me to be able to kiss you without you running away screaming ‘no homo’.”

John avoided Dave’s eyes, or rather, shades. “Still though. No homo.” Dave shook his head and put the cookie back in his mouth, offering it once more to John. John bit off the edge of it, and bit it again, each bite bringing him closer to Dave’s lips. Between the two of them, they ran out of cookie very quickly.

When the cookie was gone, Dave didn’t stop. He laughed gleefully into the kiss, ecstatic that the dork _just kept falling for it._

_He’s totally into me,_ Dave thought. _He’ll realize it sooner or later._

John pulled back. “Goddammit Strider, let me swallow.”

“That’s what she said.” It wasn’t Dave who had spoken. The two boys looked up to see Dirk standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “So, uh, John, what part does this adventure play in your ‘no homo’ act?” 

“Fuck off, bro. It’s none of your business.” Dave finally let John up off of the counter while Dirk skipped off, snickering.

“So, uh, that kiss…” John starts, hesitantly.

“Totally amazing and ironic as fuck, if I do say so myself, seeing as you’re,” He gave John a pointed look. “ _not_ a homosexual.”

John glared at dave heterosexually.


End file.
